I sat in the hot soapy water and cried. I felt cheap and dirty like a crack whore who'd do anything for a fix. I eventually managed to pull myself tog...ther reasoning that what I had done so willingly was due to the effects of the drug. I was still the decent person I always was. I just had to make sure that I avoided all possible ways of ingesting the drug again. I wouldn't take the matter any further, I knew I could get Ian dismissed for what he'd done, but of course that would mean exposing. I apologized to my main doc. I was in so much pain the last time I was there I showed my ass a bit more than I should. At one point, I was an absolute dick. The funny thing was I was trying to be nice at the time. I didn’t see until my mind cleared a week or so later how I had treated her. She was gracious about it.They changed my med ratio which sent me to a small visit to la-la land. They decreased one med to help me start sweating and doubled another one to help me rest more. I haven’t. It wouldn’t be a lot of fun for me to own a slave if I didn’t control him 24 hrs. a day. I already told my mom I was out. She tired to act like she was sorry but I know, inwardly, she was relieved. My dad left us years ago when I was just a little girl. Mom’s been blaming me for it ever since. She likes to go out, get drunk, and bring home a different guy every night. Now she can bring home as many guys as she wants and not feel guilty that her “little girl” is in the next room.” I was just. We spent a couple of hours drinking, tanning and talking. I learned that Aline and Rene were from the Champagne-Ardenne Providence in France. Rene’s family owned a winery that produced fine champagne. Rene ran the sales end of the winery and his older brother ran the actual vineyard. I also learned that they were on an extended honeymoon. They had gotten married three months ago and had gone to Jamaica on a two week honeymoon. When they returned his father had set up a long sales trip for Rene..
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