My acceptance of this did not imply any kind of numbness. I felt it all acutely and powerfully. Miss knew just how to work upon my mind, escalating he... plans slowly and inventively, always keep me off balance. I never seemed to lose myself completely into a new world, and never quite became used to it.I still felt embarrassment, fresh and hot, every time I exposed my panty-wearing sissy ass to Lucy. I was constantly nervous about panty lines that might show through my pants. I had to think,. I realised I had to tell Ellie because I could not rely on Maria keeping quiet, one word out of place and she would blab, not only about the place but also about her triumphant march through my anatomy, I got dressed as she slept and went back to my own room, the curtains were drawn and the room was in semi darkness, I was tiptoeing about when the voice said “I’m not asleep, I have been asleep but I am awake now” Ellie said, I crawled on the bed and got into it beside her spooning her in as. I went to bed, closed my eyes. And fell asleep thinking about what I just did.-sunday 23 november 2008-The next day I woke up I should have felt regret... I have sniffed and put on girls underwear. What was wrong with me? But instead of thinking about that, there was only one thing on my mind... When could I put them on again?Right now! The entire day I wore them under my pants. Just walking through the house. Not my mom nor my dad looked funny at me. They had no idea. That would mean I could. Closing the closet door, I began to strip, knowing He wanted me naked before Him as soon as possible. I folded my discarded clothes neatly and put them on the bench at the foot of the bed. Walking over to the dressing table, I took sidelong glances at Him, wondering if He was going to ever turn and look at me. I pulled open the drawer and removed the thin leather collar that I knew would be there. I reached up, unclasping the thin gold padlock on the chain, I wore everyday, the sign of His.
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